Poem: 300 Pound Perspective

 

300 Pound Perspective

250 on the Way Up

When you hit
two-fifty
going up,
nobody says
all that much
except for
obnoxious
guys who like
to make jokes
to show you
you don’t have
to feel bad—
it’s no big
deal to the
obnoxious
guys who are
not afraid
to make jokes.
Everyone
else is too
quiet and
embarrassed,
ashamed on
your behalf.
And that is
two-fifty
going up.

250 on the Way Down

When you hit
two-fifty
going down,
everyone
says a lot,
except for
obnoxious
guys who are
nervous you
seem to be
improving—
they are too
quiet and
embarrassed,
ashamed by
your progress.
Everyone
else will say,
”Oh, you look
so skinny!”
because they’re
no longer
too worried
about you.
And that is
two-fifty
going down.

Conclusion

Maybe it
was always
none of your
damn business.
What are you,
my doctor?

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[Note: I’m sure some people who read this will have complimented my recent weight loss and now may be feeling guilty. Fact is, if you’re reading this we’re probably pretty good friends and as a pretty good friend I welcome you involvement in the personal matters of my life—hell, I’ve even fished for your weight loss compliments and valued your support. The sentiments here really are more for the people who cross a bridge of familiarity uninvited.]