If you’ve ever been, you’ll get it.
All in Nonsense
Poem: Trial by Ordeal
Of all Job’s many afflictions, one particular affliction still endures. Read on.
Chart: People Who Can Dunk
A chart explaining the yap gap.
Poem: Bumper Sticker
Of all Job’s many afflictions, one particular affliction still endures. Read on.
Chart: People Who Run Marathons
A chart explaining the intricate art of detecting the people who run marathons.
Poem: If Only...
I need my phone! I really, really need my phone!
Chart: Men Who Wear Necklaces
A chart explaining the rules about men in necklaces and the sole exception to the rule.
Poem: Fart Doctor
Is there a doctor in the house? Because someone seems to be very ill.
Poem: Pooping Bird (Or Karmic Payback for Playing Surfing Bird for Twenty Minutes on the Eat-a-Burger Jukebox)
Karmic payback for the time we played Surfing Bird on the Eat-a-Burger jukebox for twenty minutes straight.
Chart: Tolerability of Kids
A chart explaining the tolerability of children. I’ve found few exceptions to this rule.
Poem: Fart Butler
Someday when my ship comes in, I’ll finally have all that I want.
Vignette: Letters to God #12
Letter Twelve, in which I deal with my existential crises by letting God off the hook because God never asked for this.
Vignette: Letters to God #11
Letter Eleven, in which I deal with my existential crises by wondering if I’m simply talking to myself.
Vignette: Letters to God #10
Letter Ten, in which I deal with my existential crises by wondering if I’m fishing.
Vignette: Letters to God #9
Letter Nine, in which I deal with my existential crises by almost sounding grateful. Weird.
Vignette: Letters to God #8
Letter Eight, in which I deal with my existential crises by complimenting God’s plagues, pondering the effects on my lawn, and wondering if what we really cause or don’t cause.
Vignette: Letters to God #7
Letter Seven, in which I deal with my existential crises by suddenly realizing that none of my suffering matters, or, potentially more frightening, that my unrest might be the very point.
Vignette: Letters to God #6
Letter Six, in which I deal with my existential crises by starting to acknowledge that God might have bigger fish to fry.
Vignette: Letters to God #5
Letter Five, in which I deal with my existential crises by wondering if persistence is always the best course of action.
Vignette: Letters to God #4
Letter Three, in which I deal with my existential crises by contemplating how frustrating it must be to watch my life knowing all the right answers.